It has been a long while since I've looked at this blog - and even longer since I've posted. Admittedly, I even had to reset the password because I couldn't remember what I once had it set to. So, why am I blogging tonight? I find myself unsettled and in need of an outlet.
Tonight my brother brought to my attention a video on youtube posted by a girl speaking to her reasons for why she doesn't support the troops - not the war, she doesn't support that either, but the actual men and women fighting. She ignorantly speaks about how they are either "dumb" for blindly following or they are "evil" for doing what they do. She paints them as malicious men and women who go over to the middle east for the simple plan of gunning down any and all innocent lives. She spouts a ridiculous total that in all the wars since WWI, 90% of the casualties of those wars have been innocent civilians/bystanders. She says that some soldiers joined the military because they have no other option and that doing what they do doesn't take that much thought or intelligence - she references Forrest Gump for this argument. Yes, I realize she's misinformed, ignorant, unpatriotic, ungrateful, offensive, and quite frankly, nuts!
But, she got under my skin tonight.
Some background: I have a healthy fear of the unknown - and when I say healthy, I don't mean that it's good for ME, I mean it's in full-swing and not going to die anytime soon. It's the reason I'm afraid of the dark, it's the reason I'm afraid of the ocean, it's the reason I don't deal with big changes well at first (that God for my husband on that last one - somehow he's been the only person in my history that's been able to calm that fear of big changes). Anyway, this fear has sometimes created a sort of panic in me when I dwell too long on the events of the world. I start to fear for myself, my family, my future family, my future in general, the world, you get the picture. Most of the time I remember my mom's words that it will do me no good to "dwell on things you have no control over" ... or something to that effect. But, on rare occasion, something strikes me and I can't help but dwell.
Tonight this girl got me thinking about the world again...only this time instead of panicking like I usually do about biochemical and/or nuclear warfare, or child abuse, or rape, or cereal killers, or losing my husband at the hands of a member of Al Qaeda, I began to dwell on the hate in the world. I snooped a little bit and went to some of her other posted videos and there are many things she spouts are "moral" and "right" and she says she's standing up for her faith and her beliefs. She calls different groups and people names and says they are "morally compromised". And she uses her platform to judge people "in the name of Jesus".
Well, we live in the land of the free - she is allowed to have her own opinions and she is allowed to voice them. However, she is filled with hate. And I can't seem to stop dwelling on that. Because she is by no means alone in this:
~The Westboro Baptist Church protests at the funerals of fallen soldiers because it says the military men and women are dying due to america "allowing fags to live freely". They attend funerals and hold up large, brightly-colored signs that say things like "pray for more dead soldiers," "thank God for 9/11," and "God killed your son" all in the name of what they view is "morally correct." I don't think I need to comment on the wrongness of their actions.
~A minister in Arizona prayed - IN HIS SERMON ONE SUNDAY - for the death of the President Obama. Seriously, you're praying to take a father, husband, son away from his family simply because you don't like they way he does his JOB?!?!?
A deep and unsettling hatred seems to be growing in our country (and in our world as well). And what's worse is that everyone seems to be pointing fingers as to who's to blame for it. Liberals say conservatives are "too uptight" to see past "their own self-righteousness"; while conservatives say liberals are the "lazy, stand-for-nothing" reason our walls are crumbling. Pro-choice advocates say that "anti-abortion" groups are "hateful" while those groups say it is the very definition of hatred and evil to kill an unborn child. So on and so on...there are endless examples of this. However, no one wants to take a minute to look into the mirror.
That is mainly what has me up at 4am blogging. I can't seem to shake this uneasy [pre-cursor to] panic that has settled into my chest. The old cliched line keeps popping into my head - what is this world coming to? This question leads to countless others: what's my role in the hate? what can I do to stop it? how much can I truly change my world? how am I supposed to bring a child into this? and, when that child's here: how am I going to keep him/her from becoming a victim of hate? how am I going to keep them from becoming the one who hates?
In my eyes, and it may be naive or simplistic, but the MOST important lesson Jesus came to Earth to teach us was Love. Love for Him first and foremost, love for each other next, and then love for ourselves. I feel that, in many cases, love for self has far exceeded the other two. And who knows where love for others went. As for love for Jesus, I can only truly speak for myself...but it appears in the world that many people are using Jesus as a platform, not a rock. As a country, we have become so focused on 'fixing' people and give them a 'label'. Instead of just loving them for who they are and where they are in life.
I am a Democrat. I am a working middle-class white female. I have (and love dearly) homosexual friends whom I believe should have the right to love whomever they so choose. And I don't believe that by them getting married it sullies the "good name of marriage" ... I believe people like Kim Kardashian do that when they have a wedding, make 17 million dollars on it, and 72 days later get divorced and make even more money selling their break-up story. I do not agree with abortions [with the exception of two instances]. I believe a life is a life once that child is conceived. I believe that a total separation of church from state is not what the founding fathers intended our country to be - I believe the "separation of church and state" was simply a way they kept from the country becoming one "set" religion and gave people of different faiths the ability to practice their religion of choice freely. I believe each child learns differently and that schools need to be free to teach to each child. I believe that everyone should be taxed equally - if you make seven figures, you should be taxed the same percent as I am for my measly five figures.
So tell me...those who know a thing or two about politics...which side of the fence do I land on? What label would I get?
Tell me something else...what does it matter?
I'm reminded of a song by Nicole Nordeman where the chorus says
"I want to leave a Legacy
How will they remember me?
Did I choose to love?
Did I point to You enough?"
Did I choose to love? Did I choose to put love above being right? Above "fixing" what I see as "wrong" in someone else? Did I choose to love?
I don't know if this post made any sense to anyone but me (like I said, I just needed an outlet). But, I'll leave you with one more thing: a link to a Jennette McCurdy song called "Generation Love." This song is perfect for this post because it talks all about "what will they say about us" ... and "maybe they'll call us Generation Love" if we have the hearts to do something about it.
Listen to the song, it's a good one. http://www.youtube.com/watch?src_vid=Hi-SeJSRhV8&feature=iv&annotation_id=annotation_573867&v=Iy-OigqT-Xw
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